Wednesday, May 15, 2013

The Motions of Life

Get ready for some real talk...

Music really ministers to me in a huge way.  It takes me to the most worshipful place within my heart.  Maybe because my family is full of singers and musicians, or maybe not.  Who knows?  But I can hear a song on the radio and it just stirs the depths of my soul.  I'm sure anyone who has ever listened to Christian radio has heard the song "Motions" by Matthew West.  It's pretty old, but what an awesome song.  (Lyrics)  But sometimes I hear that song and I feel like that's exactly what I'm doing...just going through the motions of life.  I try to live an upright life and live for Christ, but no matter how hard I try I always feel like I'm falling short.  This life is fleeting and we are supposed to be doing absolutely everything we can to bring glory to Him...and here I sit in my little cozy office living a comfortable life and rarely stepping out of my zone and into unknown territory.  Sure... I do my best at taking care of my family, try my hardest to be the best wife and mama I can be,  I read my Bible, I pray constantly, I teach Sunday School, I lead Children's Church.  But is that seriously all He gets from me?  My maker, my heavenly Father, the one who gave His life so I could be set free from the bondage of sin, is only getting those things from me?  Some days I even feel super guilty for not using my teaching degree because I feel like I could be making a huge difference in the life of a child.  Then some days I feel like I made the right choice because I get to spend every moment with my daughter and give her all of me, and that could make a huge difference in HER life.  Ever since the first time I heard that song, which I'm pretty sure was in 2009 when I was student teaching, it pops into my head randomly and I start reflecting on my life.  But this week it came on the radio and I kind of had a revelation. No one is perfect, and He doesn't expect us to be.  His strength is made perfect in our weakness, and it's so awesome that we serve a loving, compassionate God who forgives us when we fail him and shows us mercy and grace.  And we can never do enough for Him, because He deserves so much more of us than we will ever be able to give.  And if I ever start to think that I've done enough, served enough, worshiped enough...I'm way out of line, because there is no such thing.  Everyone is called to different things, and that's why we are the FAMILY of God.  We all have different roles.  I've accepted that my role is the girl who sits behind a desk and only comes in contact with my family and about 60 truck drivers a day.  No, I'm not working with children like I originally thought was the plan for my life.   But I sure can share God's love with the ones that He has put in my life.  I've accepted that I probably won't go on in my life to do great things.  But maybe great things will be accomplished by the children that I raise, or the kids that I teach in Sunday School?  It's not up to just me to make a difference.  And even though I feel like the things I do are so small and inadequate, they may lead to someone else doing something great.  Maybe my purpose is just to be a wife and mom and share my joy with my husband and our children, and with my family and our truck drivers, and with the little 2 & 3 year olds in my Sunday School class...and I am okay with that if that is God's will for my life. I feel like the Lord smiles down on me when he sees me finding joy in even the simplest of tasks...whether it be folding laundry or cooking dinner, or typing 100 miles an hour on my computer all day long billing customers, or writing payroll checks.  I think He is happy with me when I'm reading a book to my daughter, taking walks with her, or reading our Bibles at night and praying together.  I now know that I'm glorifying Him by doing even the smallest things when I do them out of pure joy and thankfulness for this blessed life that I live.  I'm so completely content with my life just how it is and since I had my little revelation I'm going to stop beating myself up over not doing more, more, more.  But I will never stop striving to do as much as I can for Him.  

Whew, that was heavy stuff.

Which is why I mostly blog about bundt cakes and chocolate chip cookies. ;)

And so I decided to lighten this post up with some cuteness...

Awww. :)

1 comment:

Fay said...

Loved reading this. Very inspiring.