Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Is The Juice Worth the Squeeze?

For some reason I have been completely wiped out this week.  Lack of sleep?  Maybe.  Too much on my plate?  Could be.  Husband on night shift and no help at home?  Probably.  I'm not complaining, I wouldn't trade my full speed ahead, toddler chasing lifestyle for anything.  But it's just so odd for me to feel this way...totally and completely out of it.  And I only have one kid.  One I said.  To all the mamas out there that have 2+: I admire you and your ability to conquer the world with your line of kids in tow... but do you mind letting me in on your fountain of energy secret?  Please and thank you. It's so bad that I seriously drove past my gym the other day while wearing the gym clothes I had just driven all the way home to change into, with my water bottle in hand and Kollyns in the back seat screaming "mommy, you missed the turn!"  What the heyyy? Who does that?  My three year old has been more coherent than I have all week long.  All I know for sure is a gallon of the strongest coffee ever made couldn't cure this sleepy slump.  I know this because I tried it, thank you.  Coffee failed me this week.  How could you coffee?  I thought we had a 50/50 relationship here.  I make and drink you, at least give me a little boost mmmk? Enough of that.

So let me just go ahead and put out there why I used The Girl Next Door [Love that movie, just don't watch it when your kids are around.] "Juice & Squeeze" saying.

The Juice:  Early bedtime for Kollyns and a little bit of late night down time for mama.
The Squeeze:  No nap during the day for Kollyns and an ornery kid from noon-7:55pm.

Yesterday was great until about 12pm when Kollyns started to get sleepy and turned into her usual sleepy/moody self.  I take full responsibility for that part of her personality because when I'm tired I'm 1/2 monster.  Then she became distracted by her scooter, became un-sleepy and flew around the office on that little life-saver until it was time to go to the doctor for her checkup which she was extremely excited about.  

We loaded into the car for her appointment and she whined all the way up the road (for no apparent reason) until it was time to turn into the parking lot, and she dropped off to sleep...of course.  So I threw her limp little snoozing self over my shoulder and checked in at the front desk.   She was startled awake (10 minutes after she had originally fallen asleep) when the nurse came in and began asking us the routine checkup questions.  Kollyns must have had a nightmare about the doctor's office during her mini siesta because her attitude towards this whole checkup situation had flipped completely.  She refused to stand on the scale and pitched a crying fit, so they had to zero the scale with mom on it and I had to hold my three year old while they weighed her.  The nurses were staring like they had never seen a three year old act like this before, or at least that's what it felt like. We go back in for her checkup and she did as fine as I expected.  Only requesting that I hold her hand while she was getting checked out to which I happily obliged.  Despite a series of shows of independence over the past month, she does still need me.  That made me happy.

I felt my happiness begin to dissipate as the doctor was giving me a spiel about consistent discipline, and Kollyns started having a complete and total meltdown because she didn't want to put her shoes on.  Which continued into a consecutive crying outburst as we walked out into the waiting room full of people because suddenly she didn't want to leave the doctor's office.  So there we were surrounded by parents and kids and I was clinging to her little kicking and screaming self with no shoes on because she won that battle a few minutes before during the speech about earning respect from my kid hoping she wouldn't escape and make even more of a scene. The fit continued into the parking lot, as I was strapping her into the car seat, and 30 minutes driving down the road until we finally arrived home. 

Suddenly she was happy again because we ate a snack and watched Mickey Mouse in bed while we waited for daddy to get ready for work.  Not long after, another fit began about God only knows what.  I really have no idea.  And it feels as if the rest of the evening was a long strand of fit after fit after fit. 

This is not my kid.  My kid is happy, fun and full of excitement about life in general all of the time.  I was starting to regret the whole no-nap thing.

Finally 7:55 rolled around and she was out like a light.  Exhausted from no sleep and snoring so loudly she was startling the dogs. 

Stick a fork in me, this mama was done with this crazy day.  I sank into a hot bath and just sat still, I couldn't move.  My body was already tired from a week of unwarranted exhaustion and I just wanted peace and quiet and 30 minutes to just close my eyes and unwind.  Suddenly I was bored.  She was right in the bedroom next to me sleeping peacefully, but I missed her.  I wanted to play in the tub, I wanted to sing our songs like we always do during bath time and play "ABC ball" and help her play her water instruments. 

Without even thinking, I found myself jumping out of the tub and putting on my pajamas in a hurry just so I could crawl into bed with her and watch her sleep.  I did my devotions with her right there beside me sleeping so peacefully and I just thanked God for every part of being her mommy.  Even the days like the one we just had: the long, exhausting & overwhelming ones.  Because really, "me time" is overrated.  And I'm not really me anymore when she isn't around.  I realized that between 8 & 10 pm is my most cherished time with her.  We have bath time, play time, story time and prayer time.  It's my favorite part of the day, and I'm not willing to give that up for a stupid bubble bath and a little bit of quiet time.  I'll get enough of that one day when she's all grown up and my house is empty. 

So yeah, I think we will stick with napping during the day instead of squeezing through a day full of tantrums and moody Kollyns, just for a little bit of juice at the end.

The juice ain't worth the squeeze y'all when it comes to skipping a nap.  Not for me or Kollyns.  Rearranging naptime is off limits for this mama from here on out.

AND she woke up this morning at 7am instead of her usual 9am.  So I have a halfway done face because I was trying to get ready for work in between fixing her milk, a peanut butter sandwich that she requested for breakfast, and wiping the eye shadow off of her face because she wanted to put on make up just like mommy.

No. More. Skipping. Naps.

Shew, I don't know where I found the energy to type all of that.  And I know this post was all over the place, just as I have been all week long.  And to think it's only Wednesday.  There's no telling what might end up on here by Friday. 

And I will dig myself out of this sleepy hole at some point or another.

Speaking of holes.  Here's one that I'm pretty excited about...

P.S. Kollyns is taking a nap right now.  So it's already a great day. :)


Megan said...

Unexplainable exhaustion was how I knew I was pregnant the second time ;) I actually still have exhaustion but I know its from 9 months of no sleep because Hailey is a crappy sleeper LOL Amazingly, somehow you learn to cope with more and more sleep deprivation as it happens.

Shana said...

Today is apparently going to be our nap-skipping day so I'm right there with you, lady. Funny how it turns out more exhausting for the mamas.

sara said...

Oh man. Kiernan is REFUSING to nap today and it. is. killing. me. I think it's because she's teaching herself how to stand up and balance on her own, so her mind must be on overload. But I'm sick with a cold and could really have used a nap myself :) But I am getting extra playtime with her, which I can't really complain about because it's too much fun. Even if I am a snotty mess who's still in her PJs at 515 PM. (PS I love The Girl Next Door!)

Kelsey Almond said...

Ha! Well I KNOW I'm not pregnant. So no. Just no. :) Nine months of no sleep and you still manage to be the best mom ever and look so pretty every time I see you, pour the secrets on me please friend.

Kelsey Almond said...

Haha I feel for you girl! Definitely more exhausting for us, but the upside is that I haven't slept as good as I did that night in ages. :)

Kelsey Almond said...

She must be excited about learning a new trick! Hope you feel better soon! I've been fighting a cold for over a week now and it is a bummer. And sooo happy you love that movie too, I was starting to feel guilty about the number of times I've watched it. ;)