Friday, March 14, 2014

Five on Friday: 9 Ways Being a Mom Has Changed Me

I do not break rules.  Unless of course they are my own apparently.  This was supposed to be my Five on Friday post.  Today is Friday, but I'm not really sure where the five comes into play with this let's just go with it.

Sweet Kollyns has changed my life in so many ways.  I have never enjoyed anything as much as I enjoy being her mommy and learning from her and watching her grow.  It's crazy how much every part of every thing that I do from the smallest to the biggest things has flipped completely over the past 3 years.  I just started thinking about this 10 minutes ago and I've already come up with 9 ways.  I tried to keep it at 5 for Five on Friday purposes, but I just couldn't...and if I allow myself to think about this any longer it will end up being "99 Ways Being a Mom Has Changed Me."  So I'm just gonna stop thinking and start typing, mmmk?

I spend more time thinking about her outfits than I do my own.  I used to plan my outfits a day in advance, lay them out the night before I went somewhere,  buy a new outfit for every date with Devin,  and write my beach outfits in a notebook for our 7 day vacation (isn't that the oddest thing you've ever heard?).  Now I spend a total of 10 seconds throwing on clothes everyday and don't even think about my outfits until it's time to put them on.  I haven't shopped for myself (like really shopped) since last July. If I buy something for myself it's on a whim and usually from the clearance rack.  Kollyns' wardrobe currently takes my full attention and all of my extra cash and I am fully okay with that.

I actually keep groceries in the house now.  When we first got married, poor Devin probably stayed hungry.  I loathed grocery shopping and we practically lived off of peanut butter sandwiches and spaghettios.  I know, I sucked.  But now grocery shopping is not even something I think about and dread.  It's like I just automatically drive there every Sunday after church because I know I have to stock up on food for the week so we always have snacks, fresh milk and things for Kollyns on hand.  If Devin had known this 6 years ago, he probably would've planted a baby in my belly on day one. :)

I don't watch anything on TV.  Unless it's Yo Gabba Gabba, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse or Doc McStuffins.  By the time I work, get home from the gym, do laundry, cook dinner, bathe and play with Kollyns...The Bachelor, KUWTK, and The Vampire Diaries take a complete backseat in my life.  I used to skip workouts and dash home from college just to raid my DVR because I couldn't wait to see the episodes I missed commercial free.  Holy crap.  Is that really what I used to live for?  Thank you Kollyns, for showing me that there's so much more to life than reality TV.  Although if I'm home sick from work one day and limited to the couch there's a 99% chance I'll flip right to those shows I was once obsessed with.  I can't help it okay?

I get up early.  I went from sleeping in until 11 on Saturdays to rising at 5am to get to the gym, do laundry, get ready for the day, fix breakfast and do my devotions before she even wakes up.  And that is so not like Kels-before-baby.  I actually thought I needed 12+ hours of sleep every night.  Ha, what a joke.  I'm currently running on 5 hours of sleep total over the past 4 days.  Not Kollyns' fault though, well one night was...but the other 3 nights were my fault completely because this time change has killed me. 

I think.  Before I speak, act or anything.  I know she is a sponge and everything that I do or say is sure to be absorbed by her immediately after it's said or done.  I also know that I'm the example she will follow so I better set a good one.  And I'm careful, so careful.  I'm so much more mindful of our surroundings and I'm always thinking one step ahead and preparing for something to happen that might send me into mama bear mode.  I used to never think about anything or pay attention to anything around me.  It's really a wonder I survived adolescence.  

I'm far more productive.  I used to come home from work and take a nap because I thought I needed one.  Now I come home from work and do 500 chores before I even realize I'm doing them.  I used to get home from class & sit on the sofa and watch my reality TV shows one right after another with chocolate milk and oreos in my lap because I was just so drained from the day that it took all the strength I could muster just to dip my oreos in milk.  I can't even believe work and school used to make me tired.  It's pretty hilarious now that I think about it.

I am emotionally stronger.  I used to cry if I broke my nail or a zit popped up in the wrong place.  Now I feel like I'm strong down to my very core.  The postpartum days that follow having a kid and going through 60 different emotions per hour really equipped me to handle things I never thought I had the capacity to deal with.  I remember coming home from the hospital and feeling so grateful and so blissfully happy but at the same time feeling so overwhelmed and overcome with pure fear because I was now responsible for this little being.  I'm glad that I eventually figured out that I had to pray my worries away, instead of letting them consume me.  But those first days of dealing with all of those emotions at once on top of getting no sleep and figuring out how to breastfeed, change diapers and find time to take a shower and do everything a mom is expected to do... really kick started my journey as a mom and prepared me for ALOT.

Her needs always come first.  She has taught me how to be unselfish.  From the first time my eyes met hers I knew that I would always put her needs way ahead of my own.  When I wake up my first thoughts aren't about my day or my plans, they are about what I can do for Kollyns and how I can make the most of my time with her.  The love I have for her has revealed that I had entirely too much love for myself before she came along.  She has taught me that so much joy can be found in doing even the simplest things for the ones I love like cooking meals or folding clothes.  She has made me a better wife and daughter because of it too.

I pray diligently.  Before I had Kollyns prayer was something I did at night before bed.  And I'm so ashamed to admit that.  Now I catch myself praying without even thinking about it.  It started the second I found out I was pregnant and I began praying for her and thanking God for her.  I was so fully dependent on God taking care of me and Kollyns and watching over us and protecting this precious life growing inside of me that I found myself in constant communication with Him.  And in developing that habit, I've found that now I talk to God about everything and thank Him for everything all day long!

Happy Friday ya'll!

(Photo-Kollyns at 7 months.  I'm obsessed.)


Emily said...

I'm right there with you on the outfit dilemma haha. I always look homeless while Dreydan looks like a fresh to death killa. I'm always thinking.. well if Drey looks adorable and I look like shit, we can equal eachother out ha. I've always said he is my best accessory. Done. Boom.

sara {rhapsody and chaos} said...

Yes, yes, and more yes. I was nodding while reading all of this! (Well, except the TV part. I haven't been able to quit my shows just yet. Kiernan has no interest while it's on in the background right now, but I'm sure that's about to change...) I haven't started getting up early yet, but it's slowly starting to dawn on me that I need to, if I want to have a solid chunk of time for myself throughout the day... But otherwise, everything you said completely applies to me as a mother as well. :) Happy St. Patrick's!

Kelsey Almond said...

Girl I know, it's all about the little one stylin' & profilin' for me too. Oooo, perfectly cute little accessories. That's a good way to look at it...I think I'll go with it! ;)

Kelsey Almond said...

Haha, you just wait girlfriend! I kept up with the Kardashians until right about the time Kollyns started walking/running. And yes, waking up early and enjoying a little bit of quiet mama time is the best way to start the day! :)

Hillary Quinn said...

I just started laughing at the first two... because I think we may be the same person? I seriously still plan my outfits for vacations.. and I write them down in my notebook. So, you aren't the only nut on that one. And grocery shopping: I absolutely despise. I have to have Austin go with otherwise I'll spend two hours and only make it out with not even half of the list. (even with the list in hand) But I'm so glad you enjoy being a Mama and have learned so much. You and Kollyns make an adorable duo and I'm pretty sure you're SuperMom ;)


Kelsey Almond said...

Awesomeee. I just KNEW we were destined to be bloggy bffs. Yay! & thank you so much...I'm far from supermom, but I love every part of being her mama! :)