I have a cold. A nasty one. Right smack dab in the middle of summer.
My head hurts, my eyeballs hurt, I can't breathe through my nose and my throat is scratchy.
But the worst part of all is that I can't sleep.
I need my sleep y'all. I do.
So last night we all crawled into bed earlier than usual because Kollyns took it upon herself to skip her much needed nap yesterday and Devin had worked about four 12 hour shifts in a row and he was wiped out too.
8:30...9:30...Devin's snoring and Kollyns is sleeping deep.
10:30...Still staring at the ceiling fan.
I started getting frustrated.
Then I began to tune myself into the breaths my sweet little Kollyns was taking.
My hand was resting on her belly and every breath she took brought out an overwhelming feeling of thankfulness.
Her leg was propped up on my hip and her foot was resting on her daddy's waist.
Devin was holding me about as tight as he possibly could. The weight of his arm was starting to make my side twinge. But I couldn't bring myself to move it.
There I was tangled up in my two favorite people. I almost let the moment get away because of my irritation with the fact that I just couldn't go to sleep and I couldn't get close to being comfortable.
Thank goodness I didn't. Because the joy that filled my heart in those two hours of pure, raw thankfulness are enough to pull me through just about anything.
Who knew staring at those spinning blades not being able to sleep and listening to my two loves breathe could be so perfect? Relishing the fact that they were both with me in that moment.
Safe. Healthy. Here.
How many sweet moments do we miss because we're too busy thinking about the not so perfect parts of it?
I am blessed. I am content. I am happy.
I am thankful.
Thankful that God is working in my life and in the lives of everyone around me so I don't have to bear the burdens of this imperfect world and feel the weight of trying to fix everything on my fragile shoulders.
Thankful for the moments that make this life so sweet.
Like laying in bed at night beside Kollyns and Devin.
Running through the sprinkler hand in hand with Kollyns and hearing her squeals of excitement.
Watching her jump up and down as her dad's pulling in the driveway from a long day at work.
Thankful for the moments that reveal God's faithfulness to me.
Like when I'm blindsided by disappointing things.
Or hurt and betrayed by people I had faith in.
Thankful that God is always faithful and He is the one that has never left my side and will never forsake me.
Be thankful. And don't let your blessings be overshadowed by discontentment or disappointments.
In my happiest moments, and even in my moments of deep pain...
It is so very fulfilling to feel all consuming thankfulness through every part of it.