When I started blogging, I was posting 3 or 4 times a week. Every time I snapped a picture or planned something, I was subconsciously thinking of ways I could integrate it into my own little corner of the internet. I wasn't really living unless I was doing something I could blog about. This was my creative outlet, it was my way to share my life and experiences with anyone who decided to take the time to read about them.
Then one day I just didn't have much to say. I faced struggles in my marriage and in life that I just didn't want to share. So I shut off the part of my brain that challenged me to spin blog posts about every facet of my life and decided instead it was time for me to listen. Instead of trying to come up with ideas to write about, I dove head and heart first into scripture and prayer. I would churn out a post maybe once a month so y'all would know I'm still alive over here, but it just wasn't important to me anymore. Then one day (I'm not even sure when) I just didn't care if anyone read my blog or not.
Don't get me wrong, I appreciate everyone who takes the time to read what I write! But sometimes life just has a way of making things that were once important pale in comparison to what's happening in the here and now.
Since my last post...
we went to the beach,
we had our 8 year wedding anniversary,
our little girl started Kindergarten,
I turned 29,
we had a miscarriage (and looking back, God knew exactly what he was doing and we got that message loud and clear)
I experienced more heart break in my marriage,
I experienced restoration in my marriage,
I've had many prayers answered,
we had the best Christmas ever,
and in January my sweet Mother-In-Law was diagnosed with brain cancer.
Through the highs and the lows, I haven't lost my hope or joy...and that's because God is unchanging in a changing and oftentimes disappointing world and His love never fails. Even on the hardest days I was able to find joy in the simplest things, and I'm so thankful for that.
Did I handle everything perfectly? Nope. Some days I cried so much I thought I would drown in my tears. But I trusted God still, and He has been faithful. Am I handling everything perfectly now? Nope. But I'm better at it than I was a year ago. And isn't that what life is about anyway? Growing and learning and striving to become more like Jesus...
I've found that character isn't developed during the times when all is right in the world and my faith is rarely strengthened when everything is being answered the way I want it to be. Trusting God through painful loss, putting aside my human nature and offering forgiveness when my heart is shattered and it's the last thing I want to do, finding hope in the Lord when the world says there is none through a heart wrenching cancer diagnosis of someone who I love dearly... These are the times I've grown and became a better and stronger person in Christ.
You might be wondering why I feel the need to tell all of my business? Well I guess because painting a perfect picture of life on my blog and leaving out the hard stuff wouldn't really help anyone would it? Real life isn't pretty all the time, and it sure isn't easy. My favorite verse lately is a simple one..."Trust in the Lord and do good." Psalm 37:3. It's tough to trust God when you are disappointed and hurt. But He wants us to trust Him, stay peaceful and open our hearts to his promises and plans for our life. While we are waiting, He is fighting FOR US so we can rest in that and use this time of waiting to bless others. If you're going through something I encourage you to seek God and His will for your life. Even at the ripe old age of 29 ;) , I've wasted way too much time stressing and trusting God half way, letting the worries of this World steal my peace. So take it from someone who has learned the hard way from too many years of trying to "fix things" in my time... Trust God, find joy in His love for you and the good things in your life and D O G O O D, because all good things are from Him. And get ready for the blessings to flow. :)